There was a time were people are bound together with
intimacy among their relationships. India was once been celebrated for its
traditions and cultures which are our basic traits. But along with the years
the culture and tradition changed too. There is no love, care or affection left
in most of the human’s heart and instead rivalry, selfishness and vengeance
took over their minds and hearts making them stay away from their relatives and
traditions. I have been witnessing the fact of this shifting culture for the
past few decades.
There are many foreigners who are obsessed with the rich
culture and traditions of India which brings them to India. But we Indians have
started being mesmerized with the foreign culture and started living according
to it which is not acceptable in India. But still the change happens every
second and guess there won’t be any so-called-culture in our India.
But am not to speak of any cultural differences of cultural
changes here. This post is all about a brother-sister relationship and how it
bloomed and how it was forced to get it withered by itself with my true story
as a depiction. And yes, it was the post out of my severe pain which I got to
undergo from this relationship.
1988:
On one sunny morning, in the month of March, I came out from
my mother’s womb breathing my first wheeze of air. And I found all my relatives
surrounding me and some whispered sadly or I being a girl and some were
extremely happy for getting a child what so ever be it, a girl or boy. Right
then I found that I was been lifted by a handsome guy in his teens lifting me
with so much of love, care and affection. It was my brother, my first cousin. And I was
attracted to him on the first sight as like a love at first sight.
1991:
I was entering my school for the first time in my whole life
for my kinder garden. I was not aware of what exactly a school would look like.
I was dropped in school with my mother and brother. I was happy in wearing a
white shirt with blue skirt along with a new bag, books, water bottle, snack
box and all kind of weird stuffs which made me feel happy. But once I was left into
my class by my brother, I thought he would stay up with me even in school and
play as like he would play with me at home. But he left me and went out of the
class which was not I have expected. The next instance I burst into crying for
my mother and brother. And then onwards my brother would not come to leave me
at school as he would say that he doesn’t have strength in looking at me crying
at him like that.
1992:
This was the year I was left alone at my home. My brother
would never come to visit me often anymore as he would do before. He would not
be there to play hide n seek with me, to lift me and run around my house, to
buy me chocolates and macaroons which are my favorites those days and finally
he will not be there not to make me feel alone. He was moving out of town for
his graduation and that was when I started missing him so much. Days passed and
years passed too. He would come home during his holidays with a huge pack of
chocolates and macaroons and would take me for shopping and would buy all sorts
of toys I would ask for and would play with me the whole time and will move out
once I went to sleep as I would never leave him if I were awake.
1997:
It was then, I was been promoted to my fifth grade. And my
brother has completed his graduation and got placed in a reputed concern in
Hydrebad, and he was always the topper in his class. Then this was the time I
stated missing him really more than ever. Its because he would not even come to
visit me once in a month. The visits got limited to once in 3months. And on one
such visits by him, I was been asked to bring my parents for my monthly meet
with my teachers. I was happy that my brother is here and I wanted only my
brother to come with me to school this time. And once he came and attended the
meeting, I was in my seventh cloud and I was been speaking about him and his
talents and his very lovable character for all the year through which would
have made my friends got irritated off. But I would have never ever cared off
then.
2000:
I have started writing letters to my brother every now and
then. And my brother would be very proud of me and my way of writing letters
him in English which he would say to each and every relative of ours. He used
to send printed greetings of his own for my birthdays with a big letter and I
still have those treasures in my treasure box as those are my most valuable
possessions.
2001:
And finally it’s the time for his inclination in his career.
Yes, he was offered a job in United states and he has to move on. But then I
had a kind of fear in my heart which was kind of weird and I was not able to
express anything about it to anyone. But I literally cried when my brother took
off to U.S in his flight and I spent few days crying to sleep by thinking about
my brother. I am not going to see him even once in a year anymore. L
2003:
This was the time when I was having a myriad of emotions
which I was not able to handle being a girl of 16. My brother is getting
married! I was the happiest person on earth when I heard of this news and on
the other said there was some kind of sadness of grief that my brother is not
going to be my brother anymore as he is going to begin his own life. But I did
really missed him all these years and I’m sure gonna miss him lot in future
too. His marriage and reception was the one which I could not still remember
even though how hard I try. It might be some kind of selective amnesia I guess
or it could be like I was not physically present in that wedding as my heart
was screaming out of pain that my brother is not gonna be my brother anymore.
2008:
Its been years that my brother spoke with me or my family.
He started living his own life and I guess we were living in a place which is a
region out of focus. He was living his life as if we haven’t even existed. I
tried calling him and I was replied by my anni who said he’s not available and
will inform him. But he never returned any of my calls. Days passed by and I was
going to complete my under graduation when one fine day my so-called brother
contacted us to inform that he is a proud father of a girl child. And I was
happy about his achievement but not happy about his defeat in showing some love
towards his loved ones.
2012:
A very long and unfilled gap between us and my brother made
me feel as if I didn’t have a brother at all in my life. A phone call of 2
times was the least thing he did to us. And no answers for our calls or no
response for my mails either. And finally came a day when he called to inform
that he has come to India and he would like to visit us. My parents were happy
about this though they had their story of pain in his behavior to be said. But I
on the other side was not happy at that instance. But the care and affection I had
for my brother made me so curious and I started preparing things for making him
feel comfortable while he visits us.
I was ready with all my preparations from lunch to the
arrangements for his stay which I did not leave my parents to interfere as this
was the first time my brother is visiting me after I have all grown up. I was
nervous all the day and I was working with a high tense as if it is a
life-or-death assignment. And finally I had my brother and his wife in our home
around 2 in the afternoon. They didn’t bring their child saying that she is not
interested to come out as its hot in India. I was quiet disappointed. I offered
them fresh juice which was not accepted by them and they haven’t been
interested in having their lunch either. And finally after a conversation of
half-an-hour with a glass of water they started from my home.
I had a thought of having a brother who loved me, cared me, and
soothed me even when I didn’t ask for. But now the whole scenario has changed.
I was expecting atleast some love, care or affection from him as a basic sister’s
rights, but I was provided with the greatest disappointment in my life. And I did
break into pieces and what is left here is still some love on my brother and
the pain of expecting something from a person.
And I did understand few things in relationships:
1. Not every relationship stays the way it was in the beginning
forever.
2. The love among the relationships doesn’t stay the same in
the continuous phase of life.
3. People tend to change when time and place gets changed.
4. When newer relationships enter into our life, the older
relationships might get faded unnoticing.
5. And who knows, even I might get changed once if I happen to
get my life partner, my children and my own family.
6. Finally, love should never turn out to be a drug whatsoever
be the kind of relationship we are in, as it might start killing us gradually
at certain bitter situations.
P.S:I STILL LOVE YOU BRO :) :) :)
